Prove It
I grew up in a town so small that almost no one knows where it is: Hardin, Kentucky. Occasionally people will say, “Oh, I know where that is!” I never believe them and always give them the stank-eye, accompanied by a big smile and say, “Prove it.” No one can. I even offered a prize a couple of weeks ago if anyone could prove knowledge of my little town. It was a Richard Simmons exercise video, Boogie Down the Pounds, Super Sweatin’ Disco Workout. I ended up bringing the video home with me – shocker.
As followers of Jesus, transformation is an expectation. Jesus’s prayer for himself, his disciples, and all believers in John 17 is a powerful, powerful message. We are in the world but not of the world.
Well, I’m asking you to prove it. I don’t really need you to prove it to me; I already believe you’re awesome. I need you to prove it to others. When the stakes are high, the words that come out of our mouths are our strongest witness, only trumped by our nonverbal communication. For this article, I’m going to focus on the words.
Again, I’m going to ask you to prove it. Prove you are transformed. Like me, you may be embarrassed at the negative reputation believers have at times. What do those critical groups know about us anyway? They know our words. They hear what we say – not only to outsiders, but also to our own – and it can be horrifying. Who can blame outsiders for condemning the condemners? We claim to be different, but I struggle sometimes to see it. Do we function better in our families? Do we function in healthy ways with our church family? Do we connect with unbelievers in ways that show them who Jesus is? Researchers and your own experiences would often say, “No,” and it’s destroying our witness. Destroying it.
To me, the biggest culprit is our own defensiveness. Every defensive word comes from one place: fear. I wish we had a vaccine for this awful parasite. We say we do not serve a God of fear, but wow, can we prove that by our words? Jesus certainly proved it by his.
In my younger years, my understanding of transformed communication was limited to eliminating gossip and cuss words. That’s not a bad place to start, but when I really studied Jesus’s words, the lack of defensiveness was remarkable, totally unmatched. THE one without sin simply wasn’t distracted by fear and refused to be derailed from his objective. Jesus used his words to connect, teach, and heal. He expects us to do the same, most especially when the stakes are high and precisely when you are scared. Jesus is quite clear about how we prove we are transformed: connect, teach, heal. You can’t effectively use transformed language unless you are on the long and labored journey of transformation. This is when I’m tempted to say, “I’m not Jesus,” but I’m pretty sure that’s just a defense because I’m scared that I’m not good enough.
Admittedly, it’s a humbling journey, not to be confused with being nice. Sigh. Nice has its place, but if that’s all we do, it’s just another defense and adds fuel to the “Christians are hypocrites” campaign fire. When people say to me, “I tried to be nice,” I know they failed.
Are you being honest about who you are, or are you, through defensiveness, hiding who God made you to be? There is always a way to tell the truth that connects, teaches, and heals. Behind every fear, there is a vulnerability we would like to hide. The other day, a friend asked me if I was afraid during my 11 years of ministry going through so many big changes in the life of our church family. I didn’t know how to answer that. Was I? Clearly, I need to be more introspective (pretty sure that’s a defense too). After giving the question some thought, I’d say, “Duh, YES!” But I don’t think I had recognized it as overt fear; for me, it was this understanding that I was never going to be in my comfort zone – and I mean never. It probably helped that I had a baby at 42, and she taught me that when nothing else adds up, the Lord provides. I was constantly in a state of vulnerability. I feared I didn’t know what to do because I never felt like I knew exactly what to do. That was just normal for me although I’m quite sure I owe some apologies about my own defensiveness. Recently my husband got a new job, requiring a move, so I’m not on a church staff right now. But with just a bit of reflection, I can tell you I’m still terrified that I didn’t do enough for my church family, and that’s still my most vulnerable spot. As you notice your own places of defensiveness, know that fear and trust can live together. We all have to trust that God is doing something with our loaves and fish, no matter how hard it is to believe at times.
Read this passage from 2 Peter 1:1-10 through the filter of a difficult conversation.
1 Simon Peter, a servant and apostle of Jesus Christ, to those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith as precious as ours: 2 Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. 3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. 5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge;
Communication is a learned, physical skill.
6 and to knowledge, self-control;
Establish healthy habits. Practice makes perfect.
and to self-control, perseverance;
Don’t give up. You can’t undo 20 years of a relationship in one conversation. Try, try again. I know it’s easier to give up. Don’t.
and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.
Love is why we do anything, right? You will get there. We have this promise.
8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. 10 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Verses 8 and 9 just shout at me, “Prove it!” Your words will reflect that you are transformed. The bottom line is that our words tell others who Jesus is, and defensiveness only hides the transformation God is creating in us. I’m a firm believer that your vulnerabilities are your own business; not everyone has to know everything! However, understanding our own defensiveness facilitates a self-awareness that will ensure we show people an accurate picture of Jesus. I pray God’s greatest blessings as you navigate your own fears on the journey of transformation.
