Dying to Live
One of the greatest leadership books I have ever read is Michael Shaara’s The Killer Angels. General Robert E. Lee is talking with one of his subordinates, General Longstreet, on the eve of Gettysburg. He makes a statement about the difficulties of military leadership:
Then Lee said slowly, in a strange, soft, slow tone of voice, “Soldiering has one great trap.” Longstreet turned to see his face. Lee was riding slowly ahead, without expression. He spoke in that same slow voice. “To be a good soldier you must love the army. But to be a good officer you must be willing to order the death of the thing you love. This is...a very hard thing to do. No other profession requires it. That is one reason why there are so very few good officers. Although there are many good men.” […] But...that is the trap. You can hold nothing back when you attack. You must commit yourself totally. And yet, if they all die, a man must ask himself, will it have been worth it?
He is completely right in terms of sacrifice. But he is wrong when he states, “No other profession requires it.” In my experience, the church and its leaders must be in the same battles. For the most part, churches exist in a state of inertia. We are comfortable with what we’ve always done because we’ve always done it. Those who aren’t comfortable have left for some other church (or, increasingly, simply just left altogether). This is the way it’s always been. It was good enough for my parents, and it’s good enough for me. Why mess with what’s working?
But the fact is, it isn’t working! Among Generation Z (those born between 1999 and 2015), these statistics hold true:
13% claim atheism. An additional 22% are agnostic or do not claim religious affiliation.
54% say that church is not important or not a very important factor in their life and their spirituality. [1]
The definition of regular church attendance has changed from attending two times per week to once a month.
While the numbers differ each year, approximately 70% of our young people leave church for a time during or by the end of college. [2] Many never return. They are voting with their feet.
Church doesn’t work for many of them. They haven’t lost their faith in Jesus, but they don’t see the point of church. I don’t want to argue about the importance of membership or not giving up meeting together. I believe all those things and I believe in the Church universal. She is the bride of Christ and the gates of hell won’t overcome her.
But that being said, I sometimes feel that same tension. For example, if you look at most churches’ budgets, so much of the contribution is spent on us: salaries, utilities, building upkeep, repaving the parking lot, rebuilding the playground, and various minutiae. Those who want to make a difference rightly ask, “What difference does THAT make? How is this helping us fulfill our calling to make disciples? To care for the ‘least of these’? To offer true and abundant life?” And so they are voting with their feet. They are leaving the church in droves, and God only knows if they will be back.
I love the church. I love our faith and our legacy as Christians. I value our history and heritage. But I try not to gloss over our imperfections either. Because I love the church, and I have dedicated my life and career to her.
But to be a good minister—a good shepherd faithfully following the Good Shepherd—sometimes you have to order the “death” of something you love.
The church has to die to itself.
The church has to sacrifice preferences when they make no sense in light of the mission.
We have to be willing to speak out against racism, injustice, glaring economic disparity, and hatred wherever we find it. We might also have to speak on these issues knowing that our church might call for our firing or resignation for speaking up where we feel God calling us.
We have to call people to crucify their comfort in favor of a cross.
So many churches want to reach new people, but so often we aren’t willing to “die” to reach them. We aren’t willing to examine our own practices, thoughts, and theology to see where we might need to change for the sake of the kingdom and the glory of God. But we must die in order to live. This was true in our baptism [3] and spiritual development. And it is true for our churches as well. We are called to “die” in order to truly live. As Jesus said, “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” [5]
I don’t know what this means for you or your church. The answer to this is as unique as the congregations in which we find ourselves. It may mean changing our song selections or worship preferences, opening ourselves to new perspectives, or simply changing the order of worship. It might mean inviting younger voices to help assume leadership and guidance within the congregation. It might mean giving up our resources (money, energy, people) to birth a new church plant. It might mean opening our doors to community groups so that our church can truly connect with the people around us. It might mean selling the building and moving to a new location where we prayerfully believe God might be calling us. It might mean using the assets and resources to birth new spiritual children even as a congregation disbands. It definitely means continuing to prayerfully seek God’s preferred outcome for your church’s future.
This is the challenge of leadership: discerning how God is calling us to die. But it is the only way to truly live.
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[1] Statistics from Barna, “Athiesm Doubles Among Generation Z”; accessed 12 Sept 2019
[2] LifeWay Research, “Most Teenagers Drop Out of Church as Young Adults”
[3] Rom. 6:3-5
[4] Gal. 2:20; 5:24; Col. 3:5
[5] John 12:24
