What is Intergenerational Ministry?
My Friendship with Harold
Wednesday night classes had ended. People were heading home, but I was going upstairs to the second floor of our church building to meet Harold. We were meeting in The Gold Room, which might have been better called The Mustard Room because everything in that room—from chairs to curtains to paint—had a tinge of mustard yellow. We all knew the truth, but no one pointed out the discrepancy. Mustard color, indeed.
I arrived and nervously sat down with Harold. I hesitated because Harold was in his late fifties, and I was an early teenager. After a few casual questions, he turned to the topic we both knew we were there to discuss. “Can you tell me about what is going on at school?” The question came because I was facing trouble at school. I did not want to talk to my parents, so they asked Harold to spend time with me. Harold, an elder at our church and a family friend, was the ideal person with whom I could share my anxiety, stress, and fears.
That Wednesday night became a welcoming back-and-forth conversation. Harold listened, and then shared from his life. I talked about my stress and fears; he talked about his own. I spoke about faith; he shared his perspective on faith. He listened; I listened. We spoke for an hour that first Wednesday and continued meeting every week for the next couple of months.
A new dynamic developed between us over those many weeks. He transformed from a distant elder at my church into a kind of friend. The relationship we built contained all the traits of friendship and healthy relationships: mutuality, reciprocity, deep sharing, and trust. As a young person, I started to call him a friend. Later, I would realize another word to describe our relationship: intergenerational.
Differences of the Generations
The term “intergenerational relationships” is increasingly used in churches and organizations. This idea stems from the work of generational theory, which is a field that studies themes and patterns emerging across different age groups. A common breakdown of the generations is as follows:
There is some debate over the start and end dates, as well as the best title for each age cohort, but the point remains: the generation to which a person belongs shapes and impacts them. For example, if you were born on the heels of the Great Depression, that experience shaped you in particular ways. Similarly, if you were born after 9/11, that event impacted the world in which you grew up. Understanding these patterns within generational theory helps us better begin to see the different age groups within our church or organization. If you want to understand more about the differences among generations in the life of a church or organization, you can get my free guide here.
Multi-Generational vs. Intergenerational Moments
These generational differences often create tension in many churches. One common response is to separate the generations. We often place people in age-based classes, reserve leadership for a narrow age range, and foster a “generational groupthink” that limits our perspectives. Sometimes, all ages may be present in a worship service, but these moments usually mean that different generations simply occupy the same pew with minimal interaction.
These instances would be better described as "multigenerational moments." They are beneficial because they allow a glimpse of the age diversity in a church. Finding these times when all generations can be together is an important rhythm in church life. However, “intergenerational moments” go beyond this mere sharing of the same physical space. These experiences occur when the pews turn into circles, allowing different generations to engage deeply with each other in meaningful ways. Instead of simply co-existing in location, there are opportunities for real connection, conversation, and contribution from every age group.
Consulting with churches about intergenerational ministry helps me see what congregations all over the world are doing to create these kinds of intergenerational moments. Some sit together in a classroom of Boomers and Millennials to discuss a passage of Scripture and hear differing perspectives. Others bring teenagers from their youth group into leadership meetings that impact the whole church. Still others form service projects where young and old work alongside each other, allowing organic conversation to occur. What I experienced with Harold many years ago in The Mustard Room also reflects intergenerational ministry. It is mutual, meaningful, and makes spaces for true connection.
Formed By Intergenerational Ministry
One of my favorite definitions comes from what should be the starting place for anyone interested in learning more about intergenerational ministry. In the second edition of Intergenerational Christian Formation, the authors write, “intergenerational ministry happens when a congregation intentionally brings the generations together in mutual serving, sharing, or learning within the core practices of the church in order to live out being the body of Christ to each other and the greater community.” This definition opens the door to a deeper community experience and provides a way to evaluate whether different generations are truly engaging with one another. Are the interactions between our age groups mutual? Are there deep moments of listening and sharing between older and younger individuals? If not, then that is a multigenerational moment, not an intergenerational one.
This distinction matters because the nature of our faith formation matters. Are we forming segmented sub-groups or a unified, vibrant community? Are we prioritizing formation for one generation or for all generations together? Every time the church gathers, formation happens. The question is: what kind of formation is taking place? Intergenerational ministry offers a unique and vital opportunity to form people into mature followers of Christ, supporting and shaping everyone in the full family of faith.
