Integrity Is Integral … and Gritty (Part 2)
We have come up with all kinds of little tricks that allow us to be okay with saying one thing but meaning or doing another. Like crossing our fingers. Or Opposite Day, when “I can say whatever I want, as long as it’s Opposite Day.”
Integrity, however, means that we actually live up to what we say. My daughter loves Opposite Day, but now can always quote my response: “Jesus said, ‘All you need to say is simply yes or no; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.’” Because we need people of integrity.
According to recent Gallup polls, members of the clergy are seen as trustworthy by 37% of the people polled. That puts us under members of the medical community but above business executives and members of Congress. [1] Still, it’s a failing grade! Many could point to recent scandals of sexual abuse, harassment, and mismanagement to justify these grades. But if we boil it all down, it comes down to a perceived lack of integrity, a lack of character.
As I constantly tell my Marines, character is what you are when nobody’s watching. Character isn’t something you can map out on a spreadsheet: first I’ll do this, then that, not do this, etc. No, character is formed over a lifetime. According to the philosopher Heraclitus, “Good character is not formed in a week or in a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character.” All those little daily decisions determine and define who you will become – the way you treat others, following through on your promises, doing what’s right when it isn’t easy.
Character is all about integrity: it is integral (being whole, undivided) and integral (necessary)! The world needs people of integrity and character. But integrity is also gritty – it is tough, it isn’t easy, and it must be fought for.
Let’s be honest. It’s easier to lie than to tell the truth. It’s easier to come up with excuses than to say we forgot or to admit we fell short. It’s easier to deflect blame rather than to accept wrongdoing. But integrity means owning up when we fall short.
I love my friends who are in recovery, and I think we can learn a lot from them. They are honest and forthright. I imagine it is developed over weeks of sitting in meetings and saying, “Hi, my name is __________, and I am an alcoholic.” Many of the steps are built around truth-telling. For instance:
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. [2]
Recovery demands honesty about self to yourself and to others. Integrity demands the same. There’s nothing quite like sitting vulnerably in front of another person and confessing your sins and shortcomings. It’s why James writes, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16).
As ministers, we need a place where we can be vulnerable and a person with whom we can share our shortcomings and struggles. Only by having that in our lives can we can step into the pulpit, walk into the counseling session, or stand in front of the class and speak the words of God. It takes vulnerability in prayer and accountability with another to be whole. (See last month’s article for more on this idea.)
But integrity is also developed through practice. We develop it in self-denial. If we are struggling with envy, then we might need to turn off social media for a time. If anger, then we might need to do the hard work of finding the underlying emotions and triggers. Whatever the struggle, we do the hard work and allow the Spirit to meet us in and lead us through that effort. We ask a trusted confidant to walk through those difficult times with us.
Integrity is gritty – it is hard, it takes effort, it’s often a chore. And integrity is a never-ending process: it takes a lifetime to build, yet mere moments to destroy. It is through having true grit to do the right thing – and own up when we do wrong – that we build our integrity brick by brick, decision by decision.
And yes, having integrity is tough. If it were easy, everyone would do it!
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[1] https://www.forbes.com/sites/niallmccarthy/2019/01/11/americas-most-least-trusted-professions-infographic/?sh=11b3c28c7e94. Last accessed Sept. 13, 2021. See also the most recent Gallup poll, https://news.gallup.com/poll/1654/honesty-ethics-professions.aspx.
