The Sacred Pastoral Encounter: Some Observations by a Seasoned Chaplain
Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others,
and the delight in the recognition. —Alexander Smith
Those of us who feel called by God to journey alongside those who are hurting or suffering often gravitate towards chaplaincy. Our fellowship hasn’t emphasized this role historically, but the past few decades have drawn many of us into the world of spiritual care within hospitals, prisons, the military, hospices, etc.
I’ve found it to be an extremely fulfilling role as a minister. For 36 years, I was with Lifeline Chaplaincy and served much of that time as a representative of the Churches of Christ at Houston’s mammoth M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. In that role I was considered a denominational chaplain. I found my “community” with fellow staff and faith-based chaplains. I served on medical ethics committees, pediatric committees—including starting a Counselors in Training position for a camp for children—did overnight on-calls, and also spent most days connecting with patients and caregivers. I also was privileged to help Lifeline Chaplaincy become a training center for volunteers, welcome college summer interns, and expand the ministry to other Texas regions.
Along the way, I learned much about walking with patients and others, about having my faith tested when things seemed extremely unfair, about relying on God’s Spirit to guide me, and about finding ways of keeping myself balanced with the other important values in life like family.
I share here a few lessons gleaned from those experiences that chaplains must confront:
We bring our own set of expectations into pastoral visits, including our personal stories of what’s going on inside our heads and hearts. Focusing on others demands that we become self-aware.
God is able to use our less-than-perfect communication skills and motives to significantly touch the lives of others at vulnerable times. Some of the deepest, most intense spiritual conversations occur when we’re open to hearing another’s pain and joy.
We need ways to have safe travel partners to debrief difficult encounters. Fellow chaplains often find much-needed camaraderie with those in the same environment.
Taking time to sit reflectively, quietly, prayerfully… and perhaps to journal after a draining visit… helps us keep perspective on God’s presence and away from our “I wanna fix it” mentality.
Walking with hurting people forces us to rethink our constructed perspective of how we think life ought to be (its fairness). Our reliance on God gets stretched, and we grow in living with the mystery of theodicy.
Finally, a mantra for long-term vocational spiritual care: “It’s okay, in fact freeing, not to have all the answers.”
May you find your chaplaincy role a precious God-gift, both to others and to yourself.
