Resiliency – Where Can I Get Some of That?
Resiliency has become a buzzword, especially for those working in healthcare settings. During the COVID-19 pandemic, and now when other issues arise, like workplace violence, wars, and political unrest, people are seeking peace through resiliency. Yet neither peace nor resilience is stocked on the shelves of our neighborhood grocery store.
Many people working as care providers, and especially those in healthcare settings, were impacted daily for years of the pandemic. Some seemed to manage while others quit, and even others changed careers completely. While this is only anecdotal, I did not hear of many chaplains across my connections that chose to quit or change careers because of the pandemic. What made the difference for these individuals? Is it resiliency?
Resiliency is the ability to bounce back after difficult times. Some have likened it to a rubber band. It can be stretched and doubled over, yet it usually returns to its original shape when not in use. Is this true for people?
2024 marks 30 years that I have been serving as a chaplain. I am so grateful to minister in this career. I still vividly remember the joy I felt when I learned during an ethics course in seminary of the ministry option to serve as a chaplain. To misquote Fredrick Buechner[1], using my God-given gifts to help others brings joy to my soul. I recall brief interactions while in seminary with other ministers-in-training telling me how glad they were I would be in the hospitals due to their own discomfort in hospitals. Their spiritual giftedness was different from mine, and, thankfully, God uses us and places us accordingly.
In my 30 years so far, I have worked in Level I or II Trauma hospitals as well as rural or community hospitals. I worked in sports ministry—specifically the women’s tennis tour— in disaster response, in New York City after September 11, 2001, and in neurological rehab, both inpatient and outpatient. This constitutes a wide variety of roles in terms of geography, intensity, and personality. All in all, I have enjoyed the places and the people I have met through these ministry positions. In my inexperience, I thought I was there for them and needed to offer so much, yet over time and with gentle guidance, I learned more and more from the people I encountered. They taught me more about how to help others and how to cope in difficult circumstances. Many of them were trying to live through their worst nightmares.
While working toward board certification in my early years of ministry, others would mention the term “self-care.” I didn’t fully grasp what that meant and found it unsettling to address the APC Competency—attend to one’s own physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.[2] I was naive and figured I took good care of myself. I seemed healthy. Again, as I encountered people at their worst times and most vulnerable moments, I slowly realized it was taking a toll on me. I wasn’t coping as well as I thought.
Then I began to lean into my own spiritual practices. I went back to adding into my life the places, people, and activities that brought me joy.
Family—vacationing together, holidays, attending events in which they participate—makes me happy and proud.
Friends—laughing, crying, laughing more, just being together—fills me like nothing else.
Music—playing, singing, and hearing—feeds my soul.
I am grateful all the above are based on my church connections and grounded in my faith. Faith, hope, and love are foundational to my beliefs as well as my wellbeing—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The hope we have as Christians, knowing this world is not our home, and believing we are never alone, are all integral aspects of resiliency.
These components of my resiliency package are not found in the grocery store. I also might not snap back into shape as a rubber band does. Yet, keeping grounded and fed by my faith, and actively keeping family, friends, and music in my life, I am able and capable to help others heal and grow in their own spiritual and emotional wellbeing. At the end of a day, I am at peace. Thanks be to God.
