Have you read Luke 15:11-32 lately? If not, why don’t you take a moment to read it right now and remind yourself of this powerful parable? While some texts call this the “Parable of the Prodigal Son” (prodigal meaning spending money or resources recklessly or extravagantly) and others title it the “Parable of the Lost Son,” perhaps it could better be titled the “Parable of the Lost Sons.” Why? Well, there is being lost in sin (the prodigal son), but there is also being lost in self-righteousness (the older son). Both are equally focused on self; one just looks better than the other.

Truth be told, we all fluctuate between the two sons through our lives depending on circumstances.

Which son are you? Like the older son, we can all remain with the father. Comfortable in our church building, performing our occasional goods works, while expecting the father to return our efforts with great reward. Throughout Scripture, God calls his people to account for this sort of mindset.

Jesus addresses this well when speaking to the scribes and Pharisees: “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules” (Matt. 15:8-9). He’s quoting straight from Isa. 29:13, where God speaks to the Israelites.

He calls his people to account for empty works and worship. It is a transactional vs. transformational relationship with God.

• Transactional – seeing God for what he will give you. He becomes a vending machine or Santa Claus figure to you. You do your part, then reap your reward.

• Transformational – seeing God as one you love. One for whom you are willing to give up everything. In so doing, you are transformed into something that reflects the One to whom you give yourself.

When we choose the path of the older son, we get caught up in a self-righteous, transactional relationship with God. We find ourselves judgmental and angry in our faith, rather than humble and joyful for the grace we have received. We even forget that we were once lost in sin just like our younger brother. And so, we get angry.

We won’t even go in to join the father in giving grace. Why do we forget where we have been and see people only where they are? Instead of loving people in their sinfulness, we would rather play the comparison game. We begin to think, “I’m really not that bad. I’ve never killed anybody. I don’t cheat on my taxes, don’t kick my dog, I attend church. I’m a good person! I’m definitely not like _____.”

This is how we minimize our own sin, comparing ourselves to others so our sins appear “less sinful” than others’ sins. But we’re merely playing games with God and fooling ourselves.

Consider this: we are not as bad as we could be, but we are as bad off as we should be. Take a moment and read Rom. 3:23-25 and Acts 4:12. All have sinned and fall short of God’s glory. The best person you can think of is still a sinner in need of a Savior.

Compare yourself to Jesus, not to others. He did not sin; we do. Period. The world record in the long jump is 29 feet, 4.25 inches, held by Mike Powell. Imagine challenging Mike to a long jump contest, but you’re both going to try to jump across the Grand Canyon. Will Mike jump farther than you? Absolutely. Will either of you come close to jumping across the canyon? Not remotely. Are some people better than others in how they live? Sure. Is anyone perfect like Jesus Christ? Not remotely.

Can you love someone in their sinfulness? We often think that if we can separate ourselves from someone, then we have the right to judge them. But if we enter into relationship with them, then we’re drawn to accept them in love instead.

Thomas a Kempis once wrote, “We blame small things in others and pass over greater things in ourselves. Quickly enough we feel and weigh up what we endure from others; but how much others bear from us we do not notice.”

Ask yourself, “Does God’s grace toward others bring me joy or make me angry?” The older son is so blind to his own sin and angry at his father’s grace, that he can no longer even see his brother. He can only see himself. His resentment toward both his brother and his father blind him to what is taking place right before his eyes.

Son, am I enough? Who or what do you desire? The older brother loses sight of his own sinfulness and what he already had. Remember what the father says? “Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.”

He calls him son! Even in the older son’s sin of self-righteousness, the father loves him deeply and wants him to see what has been done for him. He always has his father with him. But the younger son has been separated and needs to be restored.

All that the father has is already his, but the older son wants it for himself. The older son has been continually in the father’s presence. But is it enough? Are we jealous and angry toward others, always wanting more and never feeling fulfilled?

Are you the one who left, or the one who stayed? Both are lost! Both need the father’s grace! We are left to wonder what happened with the older son. We know that some of the Pharisees and scribes accepted Jesus, but many did not. The same choice is ours today. Will we choose a transactional or transformational relationship with God?