Introducing the What We Really Think It Says Bible (Now in Imitation Leather)
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Hello there. Have you ever tried to read the Bible and actually do what is says? To love your enemies in rush hour traffic? To be humble at a job interview? Or be patient and loving when someone argued with you online? Us too. Have you ever wondered if there was a better way? Christianity is hard. Maybe too hard. But we here at the What We Really Think It Says (WWRTIS) Bible translation committee have been working short to medium hours to put together a different and more accurate version of the Scripture that meets the needs of the modern person. This is hard work and often it seems like we’re doing the opposite of what the text says, but we are firm believers in this idea. After all, we’ve tried for so long to match the Christian life and experience to Scripture with mixed results. Our work is to match the Scripture to the Christian life that we see and experience every day. Our hope is that this translation can help Christians relax a little bit and not be so hard on themselves. We think our translation is the most honest translation out there and we think you will agree. Here are a few sections we’ve been working on. We’ve included the popular NIV version to highlight the great strides we’ve made.
Phil. 2:1-11 (NIV) – “Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
Phil. 2:1-11 (WWRTIS) – “Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by thinking completely different from Jesus. I mean, who could love people like Jesus? That’s not realistic. He was a nice guy and all, but not much of a strategist. There are lots of opinions in the church so just try to keep the peace. Watch out for yourself because no one else will. You can’t change the world with humility after all, so look first to your own interests and safety, and then, if you have time, look to help others. That’s a good policy. And that’s all you can reasonably ask. Specifically, in your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as a CEO or successful businessman or athlete: Who, being very motivated, considered themselves better than everyone, and made themselves valuable to the team through hard work and perseverance by taking the role of a leader and displaying godlike characteristics like perfect timing, omnipresence, and emotional intelligence. These leaders may look like mere men or women, but they climb to the top of the heap and receive praise by becoming bigger than life, and living the kind of life that others envy. Therefore, man will exalt them to the highest place, and give them titles worthy of their achievements. That at their name bestsellers could be sold, buildings named, and social media followings built. And that at their name every eye should behold their wealth and status and every tongue say, ‘Now that’s what success looks like,’ to the glory of ourselves and what we want and think we can be.”
Notice the particular relevance to pastors or leaders in our version of this text. There really is no limit to the personalization our translation provides! Here’s another famous text we’ve been working with.
Matt. 6:33 (NIV) – “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Matt. 6:33 (WWRTIS) – “Seek first financial stability, safety and security, and your own prestige and name and well-being. Then, once you’ve done that, seek the kingdom of God I guess. But you probably won’t have the time to after all that. Oh, and that goes for you too, church. Have fun!”
Isn’t that better?! Now it says what we actually believe! Our last example today is perhaps our finest work to date.
Matt. 5:43-48 (NIV) – ”You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Wow. That’s convicting. How can we get around it? Watch this.
Matt. 5:43-48 (WWRTIS) – “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. Unless they go to church with you. Or disagree with you politically. Or on anything, really. They really should know better. Love those who love you. No more. No less. Greet those with whom you agree, and just try to avoid those with whom you disagree. This is better than most people. After all, nobody’s perfect. Look at me, I only died on the cross for people that I really liked and who really liked me.”
Well, that’s only a taste of the work we are doing here at the What We Really Think It Says Bible translation committee. We hope that this has made you feel better and that you will consider supporting our work. Odds are, you already have!
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