For Her Own Good

“We are urgent about the body; He is about the soul. We call for present comforts; He considers our everlasting rest. And therefore when He sends not the very things we ask, He hears us by sending greater than we can ask or think.”  
Richard Cecil  

Do you remember the time your first child received her first immunization? She is  curled in your arms, so trusting, completely relaxed. The nurse swabs a small circle of  alcohol on her thigh, then quickly punches the needle into her skin and presses the  syringe until all of the liquid enters her body. There is a moment of stunned silence, and  then she lets out that blood-curdling scream. Your eyes fill with tears as you rock her  gently, whispering soft words of comfort. It pains you to cause her so much pain, but  as the adult you know that the momentary pain of the immunization is preferable to the  disease or illness it is designed to prevent. You also know that you will do it again and  again because it is for her own good. 

Do you recall her first day of school? As much as you try to prepare her for the new  teacher, the new friends, the new things she will learn, and the fun she will have, the moment comes when you must leave her there. She realizes that you are not coming in  with her and she turns to you and pleads, “Mommy, please don’t go. Take me with you!” You reassure her that it will be ok, brace yourself to turn away from her, and concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other until you are out of sight and then you sit in your car for a good cry. It rips your heart out to leave her that way, but you would do it again because it is for her own good. 

How about when someone breaks her heart? You hold her in your arms as she pours her heart out to you between sobs. As you feel the tension leaving her body it enters yours and you fantasize about what you would say to the child that caused her so much pain. You fight the urge to call that child’s parents and give them a piece of your mind. You struggle to calm yourself down so that you can think rationally, because only then can you offer the advice, support, and encouragement she needs. Ultimately, she must learn how to handle her own relationships; it is for her own good.

What about when she must face the consequences for her actions? You want to call and make excuses for her. You want to fix it; you might even be tempted to take the blame. The consequences that never bothered you before seem too harsh all of a sudden. You fear that facing them will break her spirit; she will never be the same. Yet, you fight those urges and your need to control her life, to shelter her from pain and heartache, because you know that this experience can make her a better person if she learns a lesson. It is for her own good. 

Over and over as parents we are faced with decisions that affect our children, decisions that are ultimately for their own good. We explain it to them when we can, but often they are too young or inexperienced about life to understand and it doesn’t change anything. As their parents, we still make decisions on behalf of our children because it is for their own good. 

This gives me a small inkling of what it must be like to be God. I ask for one thing; he gives another. I want some unpleasant situation removed; he knows that this is the very situation that will deepen my faith and reliance on him. I pray for patience; he sends adversity. I ask for deliverance; he knows that it is through my weakness that his power shines through. Nevertheless, as my father, it pains him to cause me pain; it rips his heart out to leave me that way. He knows I must learn to deal with adversity and to navigate conflict. I must learn to handle my relationships. He knows that I am made to do hard things and that I will be a better person if I face the consequences for my actions. 

So he answers my prayers by providing what I need… for my own good. 

Come and listen, all you who fear God; 
Let me tell you what He has done for me.  
I cried out to Him with my mouth;  
His praise was on my tongue.  
If I had cherished sin in my heart,
The Lord would not have listened;  
But God has surely listened 
and heard my voice in prayer.  
Praise be to God,  
Who has not rejected my prayer 
or withheld His love from me!  
Psalm 66:16-20