Our understanding of God and self is deeply intertwined in our spiritual journey. While we may often reflect on how we view God, it’s equally crucial to examine how we see ourselves. Moving from a false self—a constructed identity shaped by societal expectations, pride, and a need for acceptance—to our true self is vital for spiritual growth. Our true self, grounded in God’s love, frees us from seeking validation and empowers us to live authentically.

The False Self: Cosmetics for the Soul

Just as physical cosmetics can mask natural appearance, the “false self” operates like a spiritual cosmetic, an image we craft to be seen as beautiful, worthy, or accepted. Outwardly, this self might appear perfect, hiding vulnerabilities and weaknesses. This concept, articulated by Thomas Merton, aligns with Jesus’ teaching in Mark 8:34-35, where He invites followers to “deny” themselves, letting go of the false self to embrace their true, God-created identity.

The false self originated in Eden. When Adam and Eve sought wisdom apart from God, they attempted to create their own image, leading to shame and separation. Ever since, humanity has struggled with an internal split: the part of us seeking worldly acceptance versus the part genuinely created in God’s image. This false self often says, “This is just who I am,” mistaking this mask for our true nature. But Paul, in 2 Corinthians 12:5-10, reveals that acknowledging our weaknesses in the false self draws us closer to God, as His grace fills the gaps that our insecurities create.

The Mask that Hinders Growth

Living from the false self distances us from God. By building a persona based on pride or external validation, we alienate ourselves from the divine connection. In Ephesians 4:18-19, Paul warns against living in this darkness, encouraging believers to abandon deceitful desires and put away old behaviors. The false self obstructs our spiritual growth, resulting in a divided life in which we are separated from both our true self and God.

The journey to authenticity requires unlearning the false self’s “cosmetic” tactics and embracing who we are in Christ. Our goal is not to please people but to find ourselves within God’s love. As Colossians 3:1-4 encourages, we are to “set our minds on things above,” finding life “hidden in Christ.” Embracing this path allows us to live with integrity, free from the burden of societal approval.

Character and the True Self

Character, as defined by “moral excellence and firmness,” is the essence of the true self. It reflects our identity in Christ, grounded in values, unaffected by changing opinions or pressures. D.L. Moody once said, “Character is what you are in the dark,” emphasizing that true character shines even when no one is watching. Living out this true self allows us to move beyond reputation or success and instead focus on the transformative journey God has set before us.

Scripture shows us that finding the true self means aligning our character with Christ’s. Paul encouraged Timothy to train in godliness, a pursuit not merely of moral behavior but of transformation into Christlikeness. As we grow in godliness, our true self emerges, enabling us to live a life of love, integrity, and courage.

Learning from a Struggle

A personal story brings this idea to life. On a cold fishing retreat, I found myself stranded in a boat drifting downriver as the boat’s motor seized up. My attempts to reach safety were met with little help, and I felt isolated, cold, and defeated. In that moment of darkness, I called out to God. Unexpectedly, I heard a booming voice call, “We are coming for you!” (The voice was from a friend, but I’m sure that’s how God sounds…HA!) That reassurance gave me hope. When I discovered the rope tangled in the boat’s motor, I knew I had to “cut the rope” to free myself.

This experience symbolizes our journey with God. Like the rope entangling my boat motor, the false self can hold us back, making us feel adrift in life’s currents. Often, it’s when we reach the end of our strength that we turn to God, inviting Him to work through our weaknesses. By cutting the rope of our false self, we can align with our true purpose.

Embracing Our True Self in Christ

Self-discovery in Christ is a journey of unmasking our authentic self and living in alignment with God’s design. Jesus calls us to “deny ourselves” and follow Him, a transformative path where the false self is shed. Walking with God allows us to discover our identity in His love, freeing us from the need for human approval.

Letting go of the false self and embracing our true self means recognizing that we are deeply loved by God. In this realization, we can walk freely with God and others, grounded in our true identity. It’s time to “cut the rope” of the false self and allow God’s love to reveal who we are truly meant to be.