Debating without Demeaning

In October of 2008, when the stakes were at their highest and the country was just three weeks from voting for the next president, Senator John McCain, who was trailing in the polls, defended the character of his opponent, Senator Barack Obama. 

“I have to tell you. He is a decent person. A person you do not have to be scared of as President of the United States.” 

Boos erupted, but he forged on, explaining the difference between debating his opponent and demeaning him. As the town hall meeting continued, he handed the mic to a woman in the audience and she said: 

“I can’t trust him (Obama). I have read about him. He’s an Arab.”

Sen. McCain began vigorously shaking his head. 

“No ma’am. No ma’am. No ma’am.” 

He took the mic from the woman and said: 

“He’s a decent family man. A citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues, and that’s what this campaign is all about.” 

These words that Sen. McCain spoke were consistent with how he functioned as a U.S. Senator. He believed that the aisle that separated the Republican Senators and the Democrat Senators was just that: an aisle. He believed in engaging in spirited discussions with those on the other side of the aisle, while remaining colleagues and friends. 

The next day, the man who would eventually beat him, Barack Obama, thanked him at his rally. “I appreciate his reminder that we can disagree while still being respectful of each other.” 

As this current presidential election has come to a close over the last few weeks, this poignant reminder that, regardless of our differences, regardless of what each one of us holds to be true, regardless of how strongly we disagree or see the world differently, we always have a choice. 

We can follow the way of the world and participate in the demeaning comments about the person we will not be voting for. We can like and share disinformation on social media. We can spread vitriol. 

Or:

We can follow the example of our Lord Jesus. We can model his humility. We can talk about others the way we want to be talked about. We can refrain from judging, from being hypocritical. We can use discernment. We can lead with love, remembering that each one of us was made in the image of God. 

Sadly, this problem is not limited to political differences, but also includes differences in our churches. I have been in the Church of Christ my entire life, and it continues to boggle my mind that I can live in a city like Dallas, Texas, with numerous Churches of Christ… and that many of those churches don’t speak to each other, don’t collaborate, don’t share information, don’t help each other, and don’t learn from each other.

Then there are the churches that go so far as to speak ill of each other. Throughout my lifetime, I have heard disparaging comments about this church being ultra conservative or that one being too liberal. There’s that church where the women crave “attention” and want to be up front. What about the one that will let “anybody” in? Have you heard about the church that sends the kids out of worship for “children’s church?” What about the churches that have a praise team or instrumental music? 

Moving forward, I am going to follow the example of Sen. McCain. 

“No ma’am. No ma’am. No ma’am. I know that church. We may disagree on (insert the issue here), but those people love the Lord, and more importantly, the Lord loves them.”