You don’t have to look very far to see the decline in churches and church attendance in the USA right now. There doesn't seem to be much difference based on tradition or denomination, either—and Churches of Christ are by no means exempt from this decline. It seems like so many places that I always thought were booming churches are now half the size I remember.

The reasons for churches getting smaller obviously vary by congregation and what is going on in the world. I know some churches claimed to grow during the stay-at-home orders during the pandemic. That said, I’m not sure how many of those statements I fully believe (if any) since attending a worship service and clicking a link to a YouTube page are NOT the same thing. 

What has really caught my attention during this decline, though, has been what so many people have claimed to feel coming out of the pandemic: loneliness. We currently live in a world where social isolation has almost become the norm. Thanks to creations like FaceTime, Zoom, Twitch, online dating apps, and online gaming, we are able to buy into the façade of being outgoing without ever going out. As good as our society has become at spotting fakes, we still tend to struggle to spot the fake in ourselves. 

We are leaving a community, and then we don’t understand why we feel lonely.

When I first graduated college, I moved to the greater Houston area; having grown up in Tennessee and attended college in Oklahoma, I knew almost no one there. I was eager to experience megachurches as I had heard about them but never had much of a chance to connect with one. I visited a number of pretty big churches: Churches of Christ with over 1000 attending, a local Baptist church with 3000+, non-denominational churches of 3000+, etc. I even had the Joel Osteen/Lakewood experience one time. At each of these places there were some wonderful lay people and clergy with whom I was impressed. While each of these congregations had some neat things to offer people looking for a church home, I still found myself feeling the same way: lonely. It felt weird because there were literally thousands of people whom I could try and connect with… and yet I still felt distant.

Fast forward to where I am today. I am pastoring a church who averages only about 200 in weekly worship attendance. It’s the smallest church I have ever worked at. However, while I enjoyed my time working at the other churches I have been at and will always have a special place for them in my heart, this church is now easily my favorite. What’s important for the topic of this piece is that the people at my church who feel the same way all have the same thing in common: they’re all a part of at least one smaller group ministry. This can be a life group, a “sub ministry” (worship, children, youth, prayer team, etc.), or even a Bible class. This is what I have noticed about those who are passionate about their congregations both in my church and in others. They all have an inner circle from which they glean life. 

What if we stopped trying to make our churches bigger and instead attempted to continue growing, but smaller? What if the key isn’t one massive sanctuary room but instead many small rooms?

I can’t help but notice how Jesus’ life and ministry mainly focused on twelve individuals: a small group. I can’t help but notice how almost all churches met in homes during the time that the New Testament was being composed and arranged: a small group. I also can’t help but notice the number of people today who would be classified as “unchurched” because they meet with other individuals in homes and don’t carry any sort of title or identify with any particular denomination or tradition: a small group.

What if we are growing the gospel, and it just looks different in ways that we can’t see? Wouldn’t that be classified as God moving in our world in His ways and according to His time?

So for those who still struggle with isolation and battle a never-ending sense of loneliness, I encourage you to find community, more specifically a small community. Find a community where simply showing up, checking a box, and leaving isn’t an option because your community won’t allow it since they love you too much. This is a defining characteristic of the Kingdom of God and of the church. It is essential if we are going to look like the “OG church,” the one about which Luke said in the book of Acts that this group of believers “had everything in common.” They had this because they knew what was going on in the lives of their fellow believers and vice versa, and they refused to allow it to be any other way.