My wife Marsha and I celebrated 50 years of marriage last month. Lots of people ask what the secret is to such a long marriage. First, live a long time—but of course that is not the real answer. People do want to know. Our family asks. We have lots of church conversations about it. Even with strangers. Because most people still want a long, happy marriage.  

We are a living example. 50 years. Any couple who makes 50 years is worth watching. How did they make it? What did they do? Here are a few things you will see in us that will help you.

We are at church. Jesus. Jesus is absolutely the reason we are celebrating. Being involved in church is just a reflection of our love for Jesus. I am convinced that living your faith in community will increase your ability to celebrate 50 (or more) years of marriage.

We hold hands. Our granddaughters especially think that is sweet. Maybe our grandsons, too, but they don't really talk about it. :) Holding hands. Connected. Needing each other. Depending on each other. Teamwork. Love. It takes us both.We are so much better together than we would be on our own. 

We talk about each other, too. The right way. No gripe sessions from either one of us. Not to our friends. Not to our family. Not to anyone. Does that mean we never have fights or get upset? Of course not. But if we gripe, it is to each other. Because we get it out and get over it. And do better. But to anyone else, they only hear the best about us. And we really do believe what we say about each other. Proud. Love. Happy. All true.

You won't see or hear us living in the past. Part of that is because we moved past our past. No use looking back at the hard times, or the bad times. Part of that is also because there is no point in longing for the "good old days." We are older. We are different. Life is different. And it is exciting to see what God will do. Even after 50 years.  

So if you want to have a long marriage... if you want to celebrate milestones... if you want to be happy after a lifetime together...

Love Jesus and get involved with church.

Hold hands with your other (in my case, better) half.

Talk about each other the right way.

Don't live in the past.