Reading a book with depressing themes is not a thrilling prospect. Even if you purchase such a volume, it will likely end up in a stack of unread books. Yet, the questions of the recently released The Great Dechurching: Who’s Leaving, Why Are They Going, and What Will It Take to Bring Them Back?, written by Jim Davis and Michael Graham with Ryan P. Burge (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Reflective, 2023), clamor for attention. Why are millions of Americans no longer attending church? What does it mean that “more people have left the church in the last twenty-five years than all new people who became Christian from the First Great Awakening, Second Great Awakening, and Billy Graham crusades combined” (5)?

Such significant questions, along with the important answers proposed in this watershed book, will spur many church leaders into reading it. Existentially, I believe that the loss of friends, children, and congregants from the church will prompt engaging with the authors as they tackle the realities of this shift in church attendance and the persons connected to these changes.

Of course, most churches and ministerial leaders are not surprised by this. The shift in church attendance has been felt for decades and only accelerated in the past few years given the pandemic, political divisiveness, and more. Each church-going person can name families who no longer sit beside them on Sunday morning and a family member or two who have not been inside a church for months, if not years. The reality is felt by church leaders who see the dwindling attendance numbers, experience lower budgetary support, and listen to the concerns members have about the future of their congregation. 

As described more thoroughly in their book, Davis and Graham found that no theological tradition, age group, ethnicity, political affiliation, education level, geographic location, or income bracket is excluded from dechurching in America. This grim reality gives information to the assumptions and stories named by ministers and congregants. The dechurched cannot be lumped into a single category as there are a variety of reasons behind a person’s decision to stop attending church—from the pain and trauma of institutional abuse, to personal rhythms of life that no longer prioritize church, and more. Davis and Graham, acknowledging the varied categories of people leaving the church, narrow down their data into five profiles of the dechurched, as follows: 

Cultural Christians whose attitude in regard to Jesus is one of apathy with a hint of nostalgia. The inertia of life, kids, and high-powered work grinds on, and church is simply no longer a high priority. 

Dechurched Mainstream Evangelicals stopped attending church for a variety of reasons, such as COVID-19, travel baseball, divorce, a new baby, or moving to a new city; these activities have gotten them out of the habit of regularly attending church.  Although they no longer attend church, their lives and beliefs look like evangelicals who still attend church. 

Evangelicals describes those who have permanently, purposefully exited evangelicalism. They are dechurched casualties who still maintain their belief system, but their belonging has shifted. Not only have secular institutions failed them, but religious ones have let them down too. 

Dechurched BIPOC represents the smallest subgroup of those who have left evangelical churches, but they are overwhelmingly Black and male. Unique to the dechurched BIPOC group is the view that faith just is not working, and they turn to other priorities for their time and money. Suffering changed their views of God and their congregation, or they did not see their congregation doing enough good in the community, nor were the sermons relevant to their lives. 

Dechurched Mainline Protestants and Catholics have a lower view of the Bible than any other group. Additionally, their reasons for leaving focused on moving to a new community or having other priorities for their time and money. They value doing tangible good in the world and are aware of how churches interact with the world. Therefore, why would a person return to a church if other organizations were doing better work in their community?

Each of the above profiles is explored through narrative stories, figures and graphs, and summary data compiled to understand who these persons are, why they stopped attending church, and what, if anything, would get them to return. While the book contains research and data material, there is an underlying pastoral posture toward both those who have left the church and those hoping to re-engage their friends, children, grandchildren, and neighbors. The authors are keenly aware that the numbers on a spreadsheet or percentages on a graph represent people we all know and love. 

Davis and Graham acknowledge the confusion, loss, and uncertainty readers will feel after exploring these profiles. However, it is not only their aim to share the information they have learned; rather, they also want to share the hope available for churches and ministers in light of their specific contexts. While each congregation and minister has a particular context, there is a reinforced theme that, no matter what, an emphasis moving forward must encompass belonging. Several of the top responses to why persons left the church were because they felt like they did not fit in and because they felt unloved by their congregation. The desires of dechurched individuals largely center around fitting in and being loved, which are not unreasonable expectations for persons to have for the church. 

Since the research shows belonging (or lack thereof) is the primary pain point many dechurched people feel, the answers and opportunities moving forward must foster aspects of belonging for dechurched persons to re-engage and find relationships. As churched individuals and churches themselves relate to persons who are either at risk of dechurching or identify as dechurched, they must encompass more relational wisdom. Davis and Graham outline the traits persons must possess to grow in relational wisdom and relational maturity: awareness of God, of self, of others, of our emotions, of how others perceive us, and of culture. The possession of these traits culminates in a quiet, calm curiosity. A genuinely curious posture helps others feel heard, safe, and understood. This posture is undergirded in relational maturity and wisdom, seeking to engage persons regardless of whether they return to our churches.  

Significantly, dechurched individuals may welcome an invitation to return to church, but the invitation does not only need to be to church. In reality, the invitation ought to be into your life, which includes the church. The task according to Davis and Graham is not to point out the inconsistencies in our dechurched friends' lives, but to display the richness of what Jesus offers his people in believing a gospel that creates a sense of belonging experienced in the church. 

Choosing to engage in this book may not be the most uplifting part of your day, but I believe it is worth the time and effort to heed the information shared throughout its pages. There is a reality in our relationships, congregations, and culture in which the number of dechurched individuals is only growing. They too are part of the Kingdom of God, they are children of God, and they are our friends and family. We should always seek to engage, listen, and pursue relationships with one another—churched, dechurched, or unchurched.