Ontological Musings
Reflection Roundup has undergone a facelift of sorts, turning toward reporting conversations couched in relationships, boots-on-the-ground and “live from the field” items important to Christian leaders in a monthly rhythm. As always, listening broadly draws together differing perspectives from which we can learn but may not concur. This month’s conversation includes some vital nuggets about trust readers will not want to miss.
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace (Num. 6:24-26).
We all, with unveiled faces, reflect the glory of God to one another (2 Cor. 3:18).
“Are you involved in a small group?” one friend asked after worship one Sunday.
“No; it’s too risky,” came the answer, breathed barely above a whisper, in confidence.
Last month I shared a little bit about a gathering of families in Colorado, as generations descended from founders who prioritized community. As kids grew up and began their lives, a camping gathering that began as a small, hometown group came to require reservations on a “first come, first served” basis. What I didn’t confess is how it felt on that first night in early July.
Thankfully we grow and expand, and the Lord enlarges our territory as we pray for God to do so. But an intimate group of any number can be intimidating. The first evening I reluctantly confessed, “I was nervous driving in.” Turns out several echoed this sentiment throughout the week. An emotion that felt isolating and negative, one we might be tempted to keep to ourselves was, in reality, quite pervasive.
What’s this about?
For many of us, it is all about trust. Trusting an infinitely faithful God ultimately requires us to trust fallible people. Theresa Latini, author of The Church and the Crisis of Community: A Practical Theology of Small-Group Ministry, unpacks one of the first representations of what it means to be church—that of koinonia or fellowship—following the model in Acts 2: “All the believers were together and shared everything” (v. 44). Latini defines koinonia as a “multidimensional union and communion of the greatest possible intimacy and integrity (which) constitutes the being of God, the church, all humanity, (and even the cosmos).”1 Koinonia is by definition the church, as well as the church’s prescription for living within the world.
Latini relates the function of koinonia to the psychosocial term “ontological security,” an attachment that forms based on the very nature of our being as humans. A sense of security and trust in the reliability of the world begins with the holding environments into which we are born and continues as we seek consistency in people and situations throughout life that mirror those that met our most basic needs in our earliest days. Psychologist R. D. Laing, in the mid-20th century, says ontological security comes from a sense of “being real, alive, vital, and creative.”2 Without this, continual questions of identity and autonomy prevail. Ontological security, at any stage of life, keeps us from being overwhelmed with decisions about who we are and what we are to be about doing.3 It’s settled.
It’s scary to leave the womb and enter the world, yet it’s a vital step to a productive life. Distancing from established, stable relationships in which our needs have been met with a degree of predictability, and moving into those in which have yet to be proven, is stretching. Stepping into koinonia fellowship with other people, a relationship that is reflective of the trinitarian relationship yet remains imperfect, opens us to both a source for and a threat to our ontological security.4
Small groups build our trust. Psychosociology tells us small group community shores up the ontological security of participants. “We are not related to God or to one another like ball bearings in a bucket,” simply rolling around together and bouncing off of one another.5 Rather, “we are like relational fields that interpenetrate, form, and participate in each other in countless ways.”6 Living well truly involves the context of human relationships. It is a concrete and real participation in trinitarian perichoresis. In God, we truly live, move, and have our being (Acts 17:28).7 God is a we, as are we.
Koinonia fellowship represents an eschatological reality. Only in the future will we experience its perfection. “When the complete comes, the partial will come to an end” (1 Cor. 13:10).
Nevertheless, this uniting work of God, communing with people, is trustworthy and demonstrates God’s nature. We live our lives identifying with the truth of God’s existence, demonstrating divine characteristics as image bearers. “We are ontologically secure whether we know it or not, whether we feel it or not, whether we experience it or not.”8 It’s the ultimate truth of our existence even though it has yet to be fully manifest.9
When peace and security are broken, individuals turn inward. We withdraw from community. We all know from experience that human community contains irreconcilable differences and “unthinkable anxieties.” If we choose to allow ourselves to enter and be known, there will inevitably come a point where we will be faced with “doubt, mistrust, and helplessness” even in the healthiest iterations.10 It’s the nature of the human beast. We don’t always agree.
What are we to do?
Our ontological security centers on Christ and the fact of Colossians 1:17, “He himself is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” “The entire cosmos coexists with and coheres in Jesus Christ. We are inseparable from one another—with Christ, with God, with the church, (and) with the world.”11 When our humanity alienates us from one another, Christ’s reality reconciles us.
The truest love and security all creatures have access to in Christ supersedes and transcends any possible human love. Toward living into this reality, Latini suggests five guidelines for healing that small groups might take up to increase our representation of the ontological security we possess in Christ to one another, and to the world. When we fail one another, we are reminded of an unfailing face and a force in our lives that will never turn away: that of Christ.12
- Prayerfully ask that Christ permeate our self-protective barriers with his love, and share openly with one another.13
- Mirror the ever-present face of Christ for one another.14
- Participate with Christ in the healing ministry of reconciliation and forgiveness as we emerge from the chaotic tunnels of disagreement, hurt, and disappointment.15
- Share in suffering, working alongside one another to alleviate it in concrete ways, as participation in the suffering of Christ.16
- Demonstrate, in our routine and predictability, the permanence of our communal and personal relationships with Christ. Consistency builds trust.17
Sometimes it’s our nerves that tell us something is important rather than alerting us there’s a moment we should avoid. Places and people become important because we’ve invested; investment implies a deposit. “This is what God made us for, and he has given us the Spirit to be a guarantee for this new life” (2 Cor. 5:5). Thankfully that deposit has already been made, and it is simply our blessed opportunity to live it out. Eternity starts now, while we’re at small group.
1 Theresa F. Latini, The Church and the Crisis of Community : A Practical Theology of Small-Group Ministry (W.B. Eerdmans Pub. Co., 2011), https://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=sso&db=cat00767a&AN=alc.1251185&site=eds-live&scope=site&custid=s8479690, 75.
2 Latini, The Church and the Crisis of Community, 125.
3 Latini, 125.
4 Latini, 126.
5 Latini, 76.
6 Latini, 77.
7 Latini, 126.
8 Latini, 136.
9 Latini, 137.
10 Latini, 132.
11 Latini, 134.
12 Latini, 145.
13 Latini, 144.
14 Latini, 145.
15 Latini, 146.
16 Latini, 146.
17 Latini, 147.
