Lately, there has been a surge of social media posts promoting permission to begin decorating, turn on the Christmas tunes, or start celebrating the upcoming holidays without fear of judgment by others. The message is clear: since you don’t know what measures someone else may require to find joy in the season, you should cease and desist from acting as the festivity police. In other words, in the absence of official rules about when to put up or take down the Christmas tree, don’t judge those who make a different decision than you. 

This tickles me a little because it reminds me of my first Christmas as a married person at the young age of twenty. My husband came from a family that put up the same artificial tree each year, retrieved from a box in storage, several weeks before Christmas. My family, on the other hand, bought a permit each year and hiked into the woods to cut down a live tree, usually the week before Christmas and once even as late as Christmas Eve. There were occasional years when we hefted home a pre-cut evergreen from a grocery store parking lot, but the point is, we didn’t do artificial trees. 

So, here we were, a newly-married couple on the verge of a lifetime of new traditions. Which family should we honor and replicate? Who would win this first, great debate? My husband graciously deferred to his bride, and we located a tree farm from which we harvested our very own live, inaugural Christmas tree. Being our very first Yuletide holiday, we had not yet hoarded the hodgepodge of ornaments that now adorn our trees. In the absence of lovingly stored ornaments, we decorated our tree with two boxes of miniature candy canes, a box of jingle bells hung with gold thread, and one roll of gold ribbon I fashioned into bows with a stapler and attached to the limbs with discarded twist ties. 

The next big hurdle was deciding when to open our gifts. We were in college. Too broke and too far from family to travel, we would celebrate together in our little two bedroom home just blocks from campus. However, my husband was used to opening all of his presents on Christmas Eve, while I was accustomed to waiting until Christmas morning to unwrap my gifts. Now, who would win debate number two? 

With a choice that has become a touchstone in our marriage, we decided on the fine art of compromise. We waited until midnight to unveil our small bounty. To me, this is part of the meaning of Christmas: loving enough to meet each other halfway. 

A few years ago, I heard a song that embodies this attitude and that has become a favorite. The title of the song is “Love Came Down at Christmas,” based on the poem of the same name by Christina Rossetti. In the last stanza, the words “Love shall be our token, love be yours and love be mine” lift my heart, directing my thoughts to 1 John 4:19, which says, “we love because God first loved us.” 

Regardless of the time of Jesus’ birth, love prompted him to meet us much more than halfway. December, and every month of the year, is a time for Christians everywhere to show love to others. The message of love heralded at Christmas time is one to carry with us throughout the year.