Growing up, I remember singing the song “None of Self and All of Thee.” Since I never really liked the song from a musical standpoint, I didn’t listen to the lyrics. As I grew older and began to sing from my heart to God and not for me, I began to pay more attention to lyrics, even in songs that I really didn’t care for musically. And so, one day I revisited this old hymn and was floored by the lyrics as they described a spiritual journey we all must travel if we desire to be in relationship with God.

Without going into the depths of each verse (and I encourage you to pull up the lyrics and read them), I want to share the thrust of each verse. Take a look:

• All of self, and none of thee

• Some of self, and some of thee

• Less of self, and more of thee

• None of self, and all of thee

Wow! As I reflected on this spiritual journey, I also thought of the Four Degrees of Love as described by Saint Bernard of Clairvaux. The verses of this song and the four degrees of love line up, and I want to share those with you in an effort to aid us on our personal and collective path toward spiritual formation and discipleship.

As I often share with people, spiritual transformation is the lifelong process of learning how to love like Jesus loved. It is the process of being formed, conformed, and transformed into the image of Christ through the leading of the Holy Spirit. Knowing that, we can identify some spiritual “next steps” in our journey toward Christlikeness. I want us to consider these steps in four ways using the song lyrics and Bernard’s degrees of love.

All of Self, and None of Thee (Loving Yourself for Your Own Sake, or Selfish Love)

We all begin here in our spiritual journey. This is when we love ourselves for our own sake. It is all about us. We don’t care for the needs of others because we are too busy caring for our own. What we might do for others is ultimately for our own benefit. We have no desire for a relationship with God because he would distract us from ourselves. The deep love for ourselves and what we can get out of this life will trump anything else, especially God.

Know anyone here? We all start here (in various forms), but it is not where we want to stay. If we are growing in Christlikeness, we move on from here to the next step.

Some of Self, and Some of Thee (Loving God for Your Own Blessing)

During this step on our spiritual journey, we love God, but for our own good. Our love for God is more about what he can give us than it is about a relationship with him. We think very little (if any) about the needs of others unless it will somehow benefit us as well. Due to our sinful nature, we love God conditionally: “if God does this for me, then I will …” There is a dependence on God, but if he doesn’t follow through, then we will do it for ourselves and may even give up on God in the process. Sadly, we also end up loving others in this conditional way.

Know anyone here? Remember being here? Maybe you still are. A lot of people get here and are content with this sort of “relationship” with God and others. It takes any burden off ourselves and places it on others. They must follow through, not us. This is a natural next step in our journey, but again, if we’re growing in Christlikeness, we move on to the next step.

Less of Self, and More of Thee (Loving God for God’s Own Sake)

When we make this spiritual step, we love God for his sake, not our own. At this stage, we develop a deeper intimacy with God. We love him because he first loved us, not for what we can get out of him. We learn how sweet and wonderful God is, and our love for him transcends our deepest needs and desires. We know his goodness because we have experienced it ourselves. We love God for who he truly is, not who we truly want him to be. As a result, we begin to love others as we have been profoundly loved. Our love for others is no longer obligatory, but natural and desirable. Like Christ, we love the things of God with less interest for self or for what they can get out of it.

Know anyone here? Remember being here? Maybe you still are. It is a blessed place to be in relationship with God, but it is not the end. What? Yeah, there is still another step to take.

None of Self (Self-Love for God’s Sake)

This is when we lose ourselves as though we exist for God alone. It’s known as kenosis, being present in a moment that is God’s making and emptying ourselves of our own wills, desires, and self-interests. This step is to be united with God and his love. Even Saint Bernard said,

Blessed are those who can attain the fourth degree of love. Then they will love themselves only in God! ... Blessed and holy is the one who has been privileged, even if only momentarily in this life, to taste of this love. For to so lose yourself that you are reduced to nothing is a divine experience and not a human sentiment.

Not many reach this step of love while on earth, but we will all experience it in God’s eternal presence. What a blessed union that will be. My goal is to encourage us all to never be content at our current stage of love. There is always another degree of love awaiting us. The only question is, are we willing to take the next step?