To Those in the Gap
In relation to a lingering pandemic, common concerns range from how to lead emotionally exhausted people, how to thoughtfully engage technology, and how to nurture a substantial church community through all of the above. It’s in that last category that I see a specific opportunity. Caregivers are arguably one of the most overlooked segments of the population, which I believe was true even before the challenges of the pandemic. I’ve replayed in my head an interaction from a little over a year ago, when I asked a caregiver how he was holding up with all the challenges posed by COVID and the quarantine. He just laughed a little and said with a smile, “Now everyone knows how I live. Nothing has really changed for me.”
I could quote statistics about this large demographic, but I’m a little fatigued by percentages, to be honest. Instead, may I invite you to pause for a second and take a personal inventory? Who do you know who functions in this role? How long has this person been a caregiver, and what is their specific story? If you have a difficult time making a list, I gently suggest you ask why that might be. They are there, and, often, they are isolated. [1]
Churches now have valuable experience in the far-reaching effects of isolation. I feel and hear the anxiety around what faith communities will look like on the other side of the pandemic. Anxiety and crises tend to restrict our ability to think imaginatively. Thought processes become defensive and operate less intentionally and reflectively. Survival instincts and reactionary thinking takes center stage. As faith leaders in various roles, we know this and help others through it. However, I’ve learned how difficult it is to notice it in the moment for myself. My prayer is that we do not let anxiety crowd out the potential for imaginative growth.
We are well versed in the dangers of people commodifying the church. However, I often have the sad experience of meeting those on the other side of the coin. I meet the people who have been commodified. Volunteers are cherished and leaders are sought out, but what happens when people can’t give back, can’t serve, and can’t attend? To put it bluntly, they often slowly fade out. The easy way out is to pass the blame to those who won’t accept help (I know them) or to those who don’t make any effort (that’s fair). Although, a healthier approach is to revisit our knowledge about anxiety and fatigue and remember that these are risks to which caregivers are especially prone. Caregivers often step into three broad roles of responsibility: providing everyday personal care, administering technical medical care, and coordinating social services. Each of these roles comes with a laundry list of items. In other words, caregivers face a level of fatigue and stress that taxes their energy and restricts their options. So where does that leave us?
I believe it leaves us with a beautiful opportunity for the church to be a proactive community to those who have fallen in the gap. We have new empathetic perspective, we have resources, we have hopefully learned some insights over the past year and half, and we have a call to serve as Christ served us. To those who are actively ministering to those in this role, thank you for the intentional care you offer. It is noticed and it makes a long-term difference. I would like to end with three resources and a suggestion that comes from noticing a deficiency in several communities.
Resources:
Suggestion: Support Group for Caregivers. The closest examples to this kind of group I have seen are offered through the Alzheimer’s Association or a parenting group for those with kids living with disabilities. Often caregivers cannot leave their loved ones unattended, so a successful support group would need to account for volunteers who could sit with loved ones and/or offer virtual options.
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[1] Caregiver situations range from proving care for someone with a disability, Alzheimer’s, a form of dementia, a chronic illness, a terminal illness, or dealing with age related limitations.