Are there differences in faith development between men and women? This is a question that interests those who study spiritual development. Typically when someone discusses or measures this topic, they spend little time teasing out the gender differences. However, when working with women it is important to understand that there are some important differences.

Nicolas Slee’s book, Women’s Faith Development: Patterns and Processes, is based on a study involving a group of 30 women belonging to the Christian tradition. Her goal was to record women’s stories, which have at times been viewed as insignificant. In her study, she uses a structure inspired by a four-fold theological method: experience of faith and spirituality (context), exploration of women’s faith (critical analysis), reflection (dialogue between experience and tradition), and response (committed action). [1]

One difference she notes between women’s and men’s spirituality is that women’s spirituality is relational in character, based on a connectedness with others, which manifests by showing care and responsibility to others. Often this care is long-term, and the connectedness involves self-sacrifice. For men, however, the focus is on becoming separate and individual. The focus on connectedness impacts female self-concept as well as their moral development, showing an ethic of relationally not typically present in men’s journeys. [2] Women’s Ways of Knowing notes that developmental theory is largely based on studies involving men, emphasizing male thinking patterns and independence, and relegating the interpersonal to the realm of emotions. [3] Often people view women as weaker because their connectedness with others, and they see this connectedness as the opposite of the goal that is rooted in separateness.

In fact, there has been some concern that a woman who has had to provide long-term, self-sacrificial care to a family member could rank lower on a spiritual development scale because of her experiences and emphasis on connectedness, when instead it takes great spiritual maturity to provide care in this way. Jean Baker Miller notes that certain skills, such as intellect and management, are more highly valued. Other skills are devalued, such as those involved in taking care of others – a place where women frequently find themselves. [4] When female ways of constructing knowledge are considered sub-standard, women begin to internalize the belief that they cannot think as well as men, which may impact their actual development. [5]

Slee also identifies six processes women use to discern meaning in their life experiences.

1. With conversational faithing, conversation positively impacts women by giving voice to their faith and helping them see the structure of it.

2. In metaphoric faithing, many women use “metaphor, analogy and image” to make sense of their faith. These tools help them communicate and process their faith, and because women often experience being silenced, this process can lead to transformation by giving form to their experiences.

3. Narrative faithing utilizes the power of story, which is broader than metaphoric faithing.

4. Personalized faithing involves using examples of others to represent faith. Slee found in her study that, although parental figures were often most influential, grandmothers provided a strong early faith presence as well as mentors.

5. Conceptual faithing, an abstract way of reflecting on one’s faith, employs contextual analysis and reflection, rooting concepts in personal experiences.

6. Apophatic faithing focuses on giving non-examples of faith and spirituality. When women have oppressive or negative experiences with religion, this process helps them note what faith is not and develop new ways to express their faith. [6]

Women use a variety of tools to give voice to their faith. By utilizing and recognizing these processes, women can grow in their understanding of their faith. When church leaders and mentors recognize these differences, they are better equipped to guide women in their faith journeys.

There are also a few other ways the women’s faith develops differently from men. In my article “Teaching Women Effectively,” I identified some research-based ways to reach women. In educational circles people frequently emphasize teaching in different learning styles. Homiletics discusses reaching different listeners. Considering differences in learning and faith development between genders adds another layer of understanding that will hopefully lead to greater effectiveness in teaching and ministry.

I occasionally encounter people, however, who are not sure that these differences are true. To those who wonder, I challenge you to listen with an open mind to the women in your ministry. Ask questions in ways that do not assume or lead to a correct answer. Strive to hear a woman as she is processing her thoughts and walk with her as she deepens her walk with God.

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[1] Nicola Slee, Women’s Faith Development: Patterns and Processes (Burlington, VT: Ashgate Publishing Company, 2004), 1-6.

[2] Ibid., 9, 23.

[3] Mary Field Belenky, Blythe McVicker Clinchy, Nancy Rule Goldberger, and Jill Mattuck Tarule, Women’s Ways of Knowing: The Development of Self, Voice, and Mind (New York: Basic Books, 1997), 7.

[4] Jean Baker Miller, Toward a New Psychology of Women (Boston: Beacon Press, 1976), 21-23.

[5] Ibid., 16.

[6] Slee, Women’s Faith Development, 62-78.