Prayerful Brush Strokes
Back in the spring I had an opportunity to speak with a class of college students who were studying older populations. My role was to offer some perspective on spirituality as a practitioner but, aside from the topic, I was almost more excited about the interaction. I don’t spend a lot of time with college students, so it was a fun change of pace. It’s also encouraging to hear students at the forefront of their careers, whatever those may be, who are willing to think carefully about challenges, opportunities, and contributions of other phases of life.
One particular student voiced a question that I hear a lot working in hospice: “What do you do to keep going?” Variations of that question get at the concern of sustainability, resilience, or general burnout. Of course, one specific facet of that problem is spirituality. I understand that these past three sentences lay out a road map of possible discussions, but I want to narrow the focus to one practical path. In this post, I want to reflect on how I approach my own spiritual engagement in light of the crisis and grief ministry found in hospice care. I know that most reading this are not working in hospice settings, but I believe that there are still connecting points with the strain, pressures, and crises found in other ministry contexts.
When taking a personal self-audit, it’s helpful to take a block of time and look for potential patterns. One pattern I found came at the end of my day. I noticed that in the evenings, when I looked back over my day, it was as if I saw it painted with a sense of heaviness. “Phew! Another busy and hard day. What even happened? I feel worn out, and I’m just glad I made it through” (usually accompanied by a few auditory sighs and maybe hunched shoulders). That’s a hard mindset in which to live, but I am certain we have all taken a turn in it. So what do we do with it?
My spiritual director had suggested I end the day in a simple examen prayer. I’m sure there is nothing novel or surprising about the idea of examen. This prayerful reflection and other forms of older spirituality have received increased attention in recent years. It can be tempting to dismiss these kinds of practices because they can be treated like a novelty. Aside from that mentality doing a disservice, novelty as a criterion for importance is actually a distraction. There is always a notable difference between knowing about something and knowing something as a part of your lived experience. Have you felt the personal impact of settling in and committing to a faith practice?
When I began to end the day with the examen prayer, I was amazed at what I learned. As I reviewed the day, I realized that there were little victories, moments of laughter, feelings of accomplishment, and light-heartedness that were easy to overlook at the close of the day. Two key components of examen are to encounter God in the daily moments of life (to become aware of where the Spirit was active) and to reflect with gratitude. This prayer represented a shift from brushing the day with the paint strokes of heavy drudgery, to realizing that there was room for gratitude since there were also moments of joy and previously missed signs of God’s work.
I’m not writing this post to label examen as the answer to spiritual sustainability, resilience, or engagement. If anything, I would want to highlight the importance of seriously making room for prayer in your day. My goal is not to make an argument for a particular mode of pursuing God or to lay out a sophisticated theology. However, I hope that these reflections feel like an invitation to consider what faith engagement looks like in your ministry and life right now. I’ll offer one version of the examen in case you find it helpful or need a refresher, but I believe ways forward are best discerned with the help of a mentor, spiritually mature friend, spiritual director, and/or faith community (see this page). I hope you find inspiration in an invitation to paint your day with prayerful brush strokes.
Pray to become aware of God’s presence
Review the day with gratitude
Pay attention to your emotions
Choose one feature of the day and pray from it
Look to tomorrow
