Trust

“Do you trust me?”

I was struck by this line while rewatching a classic movie from my childhood, Aladdin. In the story, Aladdin and disguised Princess Jasmine are being chased by palace guards. They have only known each other for a short time, hours at most, but Aladdin holds out his hand and asks this profound question: “Do you trust me?” It was this same question that allowed the princess to recognize Aladdin later through his own disguise. But I was struck by the profundity of the question. There are only two ways you can answer the question: yes or no. There is no maybe, because maybe means no.

So how do you know who you can trust? Some think trust should be offered quickly. Others think you shouldn’t trust until after spending enough time in a relationship – being vulnerable, sharing information, building rapport and respect, proving honesty, and so on. Still others advise trusting no one, never being vulnerable or depending on another person, and essentially living in isolation. To bring some literary figures into the conversation, Ernest Hemingway is often quoted as saying, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” [1] In essence, trust until proven untrustworthy! But another literary giant, J. K. Rowling, would respond, “Haven’t I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.” [2]

We live in an age of distrust. Phrases like fake news, truth decay, and reject authority proliferate. According to a recent survey, Americans distrust one another more than any other time in the past 60 years. [3] Only 19% of millennials trust other people. [4] As leaders, these facts should make us pause and reflect.

There are profound implications for the church as an institution, for us as people, and for leadership. If people are instantly distrustful of institutions, then as a church we must take great care to conduct our actions with transparency and accountability. If people distrust one another, that has serious effects on fellowship, accountability, and unity. As leaders, how do we guide people who already aren’t certain they trust our motives and mission?

Over the course of the next few articles I want to take a closer look at trust, specifically through the lens of leadership. What does it mean for leaders to live in a trustworthy manner? How can we inspire our churches to develop deeper trust with one another? And how can we – as leaders, as Christians, and as churches – live with a deeper trust in God?

The answer is to follow the teachings of Jesus with our lives, and to invite others to walk alongside us, holding us accountable when we fall short. Jesus ends the Sermon on the Mount with a story about putting his words into practice. Because the difference between the wise and the foolish isn’t whether or not you know Jesus’s teaching, can explain it to others, can write sermons that cause thousands to repent, or gain a following through social or traditional media. Instead, the proof is in the practice. Do you do what Jesus says when you hear it?

As a church leader, are you putting Jesus’s words into practice in your life? Who helps you realize when you are falling short? I am blessed to have a group of men I meet with every week. We gather over breakfast for a time of prayer, sharing, and study. From these men I am learning what it means to be a disciple. And they have permission – indeed, my blessing – to remind me to live out these words in my life. There is no holier moment than when one of them looks at me and says, “Daniel, do you think you are doing ___?” These men have my best interest at heart, and they help me remain true to my calling.

I want to challenge you to take a look at your ministry and ask yourself these questions: Am I the type of person whom others can trust? And how do I know? Am I allowing Jesus to change me to be more like him? Am I putting his words into practice?

Do you trust Jesus enough to follow him with your life and with your ministry?

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[1] That quote is suspect, however. The closest one can find is from a letter Hemingway wrote to Dorothy Connable, in Ernest Hemingway Selected Letters, 1917 to 1961, ed. Carlos Baker. The quote is most likely, “The way to make people trust-worthy is to trust them.”

[2] J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

[3] Ana Swanson, “Americans are less trusting than ever before. That could also make us poor.,” Washington Post (August 26, 2016).

[4] Bruce Drake, “6 new findings about Millennials,” Pew Research Center (March 7, 2014).