Donald Trump and the Dark Side of Leadership

When I was a teenager, I was fortunate to study under brilliant, wise, and purpose-driven leaders whose investment in me continues to bring about the residual value in my leadership, vision, and management work. Though I was trained by great leaders, I found myself vocalizing my frustrations with one particular leader concerning the state of our relationship. I would criticize and complain, perhaps more than I would appreciate and congratulate. On two different occasions after voicing my frustration to my mentor, he simply dismissed my criticism. Of course, I felt hurt and unheard.

Today I am a little older and wiser with a host of various leadership responsibilities. I am a family man, own a business, lead a church, serve my local community, and lead a number of other things. Over the years, I have been criticized, gossiped about, laughed at, abandoned, and anything else a leader would go through. Yet in spite of what can seem to be a thankless experience, I am called and required to stand up to lead and serve people. I still smile at the same people who criticize me like it’s their full-time job. I still provide various resources to the same people who often find something to complain about. I still share my life with those who, in the blink of an eye, will forget all the good I have done. I still offer gentle words of encouragement though it is easier for others to rebuke me.

Yet if I can be honest and also invite leaders to be honest with me, sometimes leaders can find themselves tired of the criticism, the complaints, the amnesia, and the rebuke. Sometimes, as much as some of us wouldn’t want to admit it, we just want to “Donald Trump” people. Whether you are a fan or not, Donald Trump is the “leader of the free world”—the president of the United States. It doesn’t matter where you stand on the spectrum of politics; I suspect that 98% of us can all agree that Donald Trump is an unorthodox politician. His vocabulary and diplomacy have shocked many due to his uncanny responses and commentary toward his critics.

Donald Trump, unlike other presidents, is known for declaring his clear disdain for his critics. From his racist remarks to his “in the old days, guys like him would have been beaten up already” to one of his most notable measures to dismiss the media as “fake news,” Donald Trump is an outspoken leader. I suspect that Donald Trump has figured out that as a leader, whether he is nice or crude, he will be criticized; therefore, he chooses to defend himself at all costs.

This article is not to endorse Donald Trump or to give him a hall pass for his un-presidential remarks, but to use him as an example of how some of us would like to act toward the people we love, serve, and lead. I am sure there are moments in our leadership experience when we want to dismiss our critics like my mentor did years ago. I am sure we’ve wanted to tell people to shut up.

My goal in this article is for me to say to you fellow leaders that I know what you are going through. I feel you. I hear you. I know you want to “Donald Trump” some people, but you can’t. Because God has called you to transcend in order for you to focus on the mission God has assigned you to accomplish.

Dear leaders, if you ever “Donald Trump” someone, step back for a second, breathe, vent to your circle of leaders, pray, meditate, and do whatever you need to do in order to release the frustration so you can be like Moses in your community, but speaking to the rock instead of striking it (Num. 20). The good news is that God fully understands what you are going through and God truly believes in you to be the person for the job. This is why God chose you.

One evening, I texted my mentor to say I understood why he had called me out for the ways I criticized him and to say I was sorry for being ungrateful and unappreciative of the weight of leadership he was carrying while pouring into me. He responded by saying, “...no need to apologize ... maybe I should apologize...”

It is my prayer that whenever the dark side comes out, there will be room for forgiveness, understanding, and reconciliation.